If There Ever Was A Doubt
by miss.curiosity2
Summary: Set 3x22: What if Jenny didn't sleep with Chuck? Destiny takes its turn... but with a twist. xoxo / N/J C/B D/S, no Georgina.
1. The City Spins Around

**If There Ever Was A Doubt**

**a Gossip Girl fanfiction**

**Chapter 1 – The City Spins Around**

[A/N : Thanks for reading. This is my first published fic ever, and I'd appreciate your feedback and thoughts of it! Merci!]

Disclaimer : I don't own Gossip Girl. But I own a duplicate of Blair's Audrey Hepburn picture in her room!

Summary : _3x22, Last Tango Then Paris : _

_What if Jenny hadn't slept with _

_ Chuck? And everything would have turned _

_out differently? NJ CB DS, no Georgina. _

Chuck had barely touched Jenny's lips as she pulled back.

"I can't do this, Chuck. That's really not the way it's supposed to be... you're drunk, and so am I, but I just can't do this. I'm sorry. I – I gotta go now."

Chuck Bass leaned back and nodded. He took another sip of his Scotch and waved to the direction of Nate's room. He couldn't do this to Blair. She had let him down, she didn't want him anymore. But he loved her. He loved her so much, he even wondered how he was able to peck that Humphrey slut on the lips, without thinking of Blair. But well – he _did_ think of her. He had thought of her for two years now. Every day and every second. He vaguely remembered how Nate had told him that he was in love with that Humphrey girl last year. He and Nate might have had their issues, and he had stolen Nate's girlfriend once, but he was his best friend after all. Chuck wouldn't do this again. Nate might be with Serena now, but that wasn't _forever_. Chuck knew that. Serena was his sister for god's sake – and she's never really gotten over the boy whose sister Chuck had just kissed.

"I suppose you are right, Humphrey", Chuck whispered. "But you can stay the night if you like, I'm sure Nathaniel wouldn't mind finding you waiting for him on his bed when he returns."

"But why would you do that?", Jenny asked, not really expecting an explicit answer. " 'Cause I'm Chuck Bass."

Yeah, right. With that, Jenny walked into Nate's room. Not being aware of what she would experience just an hour later, she threw her bag on Nate's bed. _Oh god,_ how could she just almost have made out with Chuck Bass? He was the one who tried to rape her on the Kiss On The Lips party two and a half years ago, after all. She might have forgiven him, okay, and he was kinda her step-brother now. _Ew._ And Chuck was with Blair. Jenny knew they had broken up, but they were Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck. They would always find their way back to each other. She and Nate wouldn't.

Nate was actually the only guy Jenny had ever loved. Really loved.

It had all started on the Masquerade Ball, when Nate had kissed her thinking she was Serena, telling her he loved her.

She loved him when they talked the entire evening at Blair's birthday party, she even loved him when he had given the present he had bought for Jenny to didn't mind that, he _had_ bought it for _her_ after all. Jenny had loved Nate when he supported her with her fashion career, when he kissed her in a crowded street in the night, and at her fashion show in front of everyone. She had loved him when he left with Vanessa, and all the time while they hadn't talked.

Blair and Chuck would always get back together. But she and Nate wouldn't. Nate, the Manhattan prince, and she, the Brooklyn maid. They just weren't meant to be. Even though it had felt like this several times. When he had escorted her to her Cotillion, when he had rescued her from that creepy bar, when she had kissed him in that strange storage room on his birthday. And when she had woken up next to him. It just felt so good to be with Nate.

Of course it always broke Jenny's heart to see Serena, the girl she had admired for so many years, now her _step-sister_, with him. _Her _prince. _Her _everything.

It hurt. So much.

And one thing Chuck was definitely right about.

"_The world you're looking at only exsists from the outside. The reason I survive in it is because I always knew it was empty." _

And then they had kissed. Two empty sould, two broken hearts. And surely not the only ones out there.

Jenny took off her heels, her feet hurt very much. She had been up for hours. Of course, as the Upper East Side Queen she must be able to walk on these shoes, and she had practiced since she was 13. But even the Queen breaks down at least once. Jenny wasn't even sure if she was still Queen. But she didn't care. She just wished for Nate to get home soon, and hug him. She wanted to touch him, the only comfort left.

She was so grateful Chuck let her stay the night – she had actually been planning on getting a room at the Plaza until tomorrow, then she would go to Hudson. To her mom. Her mom, who didn't know about the entire drama she was going through.

Jenny started walking nervously through Nate's room. He had it really nice here, she thought. Then she spotted it. It was a little box with a boat painted on it, standing on the very border of the desk. It had Nate's initals each on the boat and on the top of the box. She didn't know if she should open it since it seemed very private. But hey – there was nothing to lose. Tomorrow she would be gone, Nate didn't care about her, and _she_ had shown him enough of her own by now. Once Jenny had taken the top cover off, she noticed that there was only one thing in there. Only one piece of something Nate obviosly cared about very much, or just didn't want to show to anybody – either way, it was only a picture. A picture laying on the ground of that box, with the printed side down. Jenny lifted it up and suddenly lost her breath.

There were two persons in the picture, her smiling self and _Nate._ _Her_ Nate.

At _her_ Cotillion, when he had rescued _her._ Again. Jenny just couldn't believe he had kept the picture. Or that he even owned anything relating to the Cotillion. It was just a coincidence that he'd been there, and he just couldn't let her down with obviously nothing to do that night. But _now,_ Jenny started wondering if it had really meant something to him. Why would he keep the image? There was nothing Serena-related in his room, just a bunch of clothing she had left at his place, at the foot of his huge, comfy bed, on the _floor._

Why would he throw Serena's clothes on the floor? Gosh, this couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. She needed to get some answers. Now. Right away. Jenny reached over for her bag, and rummaged for her cell. She took a snapshot of Nate's photograph, just like she had photographed her brother and Serena in bed this morning. Then she sent the text with it to Nate.

And hoped for the best.

**[A/N:** First chapter done! Let me know what you think, this one is pretty much based on Jenny's and Chuck's thoughts. More N/J and C/B action in the next one! **xoxo]**


	2. How Does It Feel

**If There Ever Was A Doubt**

a Gossip Girl fanfiction

**Chapter 2 – How Does It Feel  
**

Nate had just confronted Dan and Serena after he'd overheard them talking about their _kiss_. But what did he expect? He's possibly never had a girlfriend who hadn't at least once cheated on him. Blair cheated on him with Chuck.

And Vanessa cheated on him with Chuck. Catherine cheated on him with her step-son. And Bree, well, he never really loved Bree. And Serena? Well, that was to expect.

Suddenly his cell rang. Who would text him now? Chuck, possibly. Or his mom. He unlocked the system and checked his texts. Hold on – Jenny?

„Oh my effin' ..." Nate mumbled. How the hell did she _find,_ or even know that he kept this picture? A picture of him and Jenny at which he looked every night before sleeping while he was with Serena? No._ No._

Then it came with a flash to his mind. Jenny. Jenny was the only one who never cheated on him, or distracted him in any way. _He _was the one to let her down in front of everyone last year and choose Vanessa instead.

What he had never told anyone about is that he'd missed her badly after that. But he just avoided her knowing he would hurt her _again_. And again.

He had to get home now, right away, and do what he should have done so much earlier. He was Nate Archibald and the only kiss that has ever felt right, really right, was the one with Jenny in the streets, after her dilemma with that Agnes girl. Whenthey had kissed there, it didn't involve anyone else. It didn't _hurt _anyone.

The kisses afterwards did. But Vanessa could never reach up to what Jenny has made Nate feel like.

So he quickly got out of the hospital and hailed a cab to the Empire.

"_People just don't kiss like that. People kiss when they have feelings for each other!" _

That's what he had just said himself, to his soon-to-be-ex-girlfried and Dan. Now what was Dan to him? Best friend? Second best friend? Brother of the girl you've been in love with for so long? Nate didn't know. But it didn't matter anymore. He handed the driver $100 and ended up literatelly jumping out of the taxi, with the driver shouting at him overwhelmed of joy because of the money.

But what Nate was happy about now is that he knew that Jenny was in his room, if she hadn't already left (what he doubted). And she had texted him the picture to let him know she was there. And she had kissed him on his birthday, and she wanted to do so again just a few days ago. He just couldn't send Serena away after their relationship of four months. Nate had wanted to kiss Jenny back so badly then, and now he regretted not doing so.

If Serena could cheat and kiss somebody else, he could do so too, now.

It was time.

So Nate hurried to the lobby, catching the elevator which doors were just about to close, and in it – Blair.

"Nate! Why didn't you tell me you were going home? We could have shared the cab. Anyways, what are you doing here? And what's up with Serena by the way? She's been looking pretty disturbed once I'd left the hospital … ah, just don't mind. I'm sure it's about _Humphrey._ Luckily nothing happened between them. But he's surely just said something she too-"

"Blair! Could you please just _stop _talking for once! I haven't even seen you at the hospital! And- and how are you looking?" Nate interrupted her. _Damn_, that elevator would just not go faster!

Blair held a bunch of peonies in her hands, her hair was ruffled from rush and her make-up looked kind of blurred, as if she had cried.

"It- it doesn't matter. Just shut up, Archibald. I've got to save something."

With that she abandoned the elevator and ran into a pajama-wearing Chuck.

"_Blair? ", _Chuck asked disbelievingly, as if she had just admitted she was the Antichrist or something. Blair quickly showed him the peonies and everything went its way. Nate just rolled his eyes.

"Hello to you too, Chuck. If you'd excuse me now", he said, but the other two didn't even notice. So Nate decided to meet his fate and slowly entered his room.

Jenny had been sitting on Nate's bed ever since she'd sent the text to him. She had put on new make up and lingerie, just in case Nate would show up.

Having a little shock as she heard the elevator bell ring, she quickly sat up in her planned position on the bed. But when she observed Blair's excited squeals Jenny calmed down again, disappointed.

Nothing was ever going to turn out how she wished it would. Jenny was aware of that. She had become queen, she had become rich. But she had not gotten - "N-Nate?" Jenny whispered as she saw the door open.

And there he was, finally. Looking as good as ever, in his blue and white striped shirt, but only 10,000 times better. "Hey", he replied quietly as he closed the door behind him, standing there still.

"Uh, Chuck let me in... I, I just didn't feel very well... and I had no place to stay", Jenny said, tears entering her eyes once again.

Suddenly Nate was by her side, grabbing her hand and pulling his jacket over her shoulders. Jenny wasn't even cold, but it just felt _so_ good.

Finally having him here. She inhaled and tried to keep as much of his smell as possible in her lungs. He was her drug. "Shhh, it's okay, Jenny - I - "

"Please don't say anything right now, Nate. Please don't. "

And he didn't. They just sat there on Nate's bed, in the dark room, his arm still tightly around her petite shoulders and his fingers tingled into hers. Just the way it should be. It felt like an eternity, but Jenny was sure only five minutes had passed.

"Dorota went into labor. She's had her baby... I, I was there, somehow..."

Jenny smiled, looking down at her lap. Nate was so cute. But now she just wanted to know one thing.

"Nate, please just tell me why you kept that picture of us in a box in your room. Please." - "Jenny, I, it's not..."

-"YES Nate! It is! Please just tell me the truth. Just once. Please, just once."

Nate took a deep breath. Now was probably the time for his first heart-felt talk ever to Jenny. He had previously put all his emotions for her in that letter

Vanessa stole. What a bitch she was, after all... but that didn't matter now.

Nothing mattered. Only Jenny.

"Look, Jenny, when I came to the Cotillion it wasn't only to give Blair that fake note from Chuck. Of course, that has been my idea. But actually it was just an excuse... I, I wanted to see you. I wanted to see you happy, happy in the first place for so long. Everything I did to you, I - I just don't know how I could ever let that happen. I'm so sorry, Jenny."

"Um, yeah, … but-" Jenny tried to interrupt Nate, but he raised his hand, showing her he's not finished yet.

"When you called me and asked if I was still there and wanted to go with you, I think it was even a bigger honor for _me,_ than for you. I was so glad I could make you proud and see you having the big appearance. I kept that picture because I enjoyed that night. _You_ made my night, Jenny."

Jenny smiled weakly, her eyes becoming wet again. Nate hadn't let her hand go yet.

"When I was at the hospital earlier, I overheard Serena and your brother talking about a kiss they shared – as if the Gossip Girl blast wasn't enough yet … "

Suddenly Jenny cleared her throat. "It was me, Nate. I shot the pic of them this morning... I really don't know what forced me to, but I -"

"No! No no, no! Jenny, Serena and I are pretty much over now, I guess. So, I think I'll even have to say thank you!", Nate said and smiled, as Jenny let out a quiet laugh. "I love it when you laugh like this", he whispered. She just looked at him with her huge raccoon eyes.

"See, when I heard them say that I told them that people don't just kiss like that. People only kiss when they have feelings for each other", Nate quoted himself. "...so?" Jenny asked, full of expectation.

"Each time I kissed you I swore to myself that I wasn't going to hurt you, Jenny. You mean way too much for me. But I think I always hurt the people I love."

"You, you l-love ..?" Jenny couldn't finish the question. Her hands began shaking.

Nate sighed. "I really doubt Serena has mattered for me more than you ever did, Jenny, nor has Vanessa. I'm so sorry. I wrote you a letter back then, but Vanessa, she.." "...Stole it." , Jenny finished, "yeah, I get it. Luckily she's in Haiti now, or otherwhise she'd be mysteriously disappeared by tomorrow", Jenny said, and both of the blondes laughed.

The elevator bell rang again, so Chuck and Blair were gone now.

"I would have loved to read the letter, Nate. Maybe everything would be different now if..."

"Hey, don't. Don't think only because our relationship didn't last back then, it's never going to! It is, Jenny, it is."

"But how can you be so sure?"

"Because I still care about you, Jenny, I never stopped caring. When I said that whatever you do, I'll support you, I meant it. "

Jenny's breath hitched, he throat suddenly felt thick.

"When you ran off with that Damien guy, and I realized that he was not _just _a friend, of course I ran into Serena's arms right away. I realized in how much trouble he was taking you, but I was trying to keep myself out of it, only because I was scared I could hurt you more than he could do in the end..."

Nate spoke very quiet then. But she could see in his eyes that everything he said was honest.

"Nate, the thing that hurt me the most was seeing you with Serena, I- I thought you didn't care about me anymore! At all! I didn't matter... my whole world was breaking down, and the only one I needed wasn't there, Nate... you just weren't!", Jenny sobbed.

"Jenny, Jenny, calm down now! I only kept that picture of you and me at your Cotillion because it's the only material memory I've got from us! Don't you realize how much you mean to me? How much you always meant to me?

You have been in my life since we talked for hours at Blair's party. It's always been you, Jenny." Nate looked her into the eyes. "You're the one."

[A/N: Wooo! Now that would be chapter two. Very fluffy, I know, but the drama'll start soon. Thanks for reading!]


	3. Whatever You Like

**If There Ever Was A Doubt**

a Gossip Girl fanfic

**Chapter 3 – Whatever You Like**

As Blair got out of the elevator, she couldn't see anything but Chuck anymore. He was standing in the middle of the living room, _their _living room, in his silk pajamas. "Blair?", he asked. "What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here, is there someone in there?", Blair replied.

"Yes, actually there is. It's Jenny Humphrey, I let her stay here while she waited for Nathaniel."

Chuck hardly noticed the latter entering the apartment, saying a few words and then disappearing into his bedroom, closing the door quietly. But Nate didn't matter now. All that mattered was Blair. Why was she even here? Probably just to take him down again, or something.

"Excuse my confusion, I- I didn't expect to see you tonight, or... ever again", Chuck stated while walking a few steps away from Blair.

Appearently she didn't care about what he'd just said. The better. Then she held up the bunch of peonies she had been hiding behind her back. _God,_ she looked so lovely in her green coat, her eyes and hair looking weird from all the rush she had obviosly been going through.

Chuck just couldn't believe it.

"You went", he said. But it wasn't a question, it was a statement.

She went to the Empire State Building, after all, and he, the biggest jerk in the world didn't wait for her. She would have come. He would have proposed to her on top of the landmark. It would have been perfect, just if he would have stayed. But she was here now. That was all that mattered.

"I'm sorry I was so late.." - "I...I waited", Chuck said, still amazed.

"Dorota went into labor! She had her baby!"

A genuine smile appeared on Chuck's face. She was there. _Blair. _The girl he's always wanted, but never thought he would end up with. Of course he wished so, but he didn't think so. He hurt her so many times, but she still came after him.

Blair took a few steps closer. "I wasn't going to show up. I was resolved not to. Every bone in my body tried to slow me, every voice in my head screamed _'don't'_. .."

"But...?" Chuck interjected, full of hope. "But I didn't listen", she said honestly. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. Why would such a wonderful human being as she was go back to someone like him? He felt horrible. He _was_ horrible. But all Chuck could hear was Blair's voice.

"I followed my heart... because I love you."

That was it. It was the _love_, it had always been the love that would bring them both back together. They couldn't be without each other and they were aware of that. Blair slowly carressed the silk fabric covering his chest, while he took her other hand in his and kissed it carefully. Chuck felt like the happiest person in the whole wide world now. No, he truly _was_ the happiest one. He didn't even deserve this moment now.

"I can't deny that our past has been complicated, but in the end love makes everything simple!"

_God_, she was so right. Chuck was convinced now that they were mentally connected, or something like this. It was as she had spoken right out of his heart now. She was so right. So right. Nothing they ever did _wasn't_ complicated. Their affair at first, then their one-year-game of 'not saying I love you'. And then all the mistakes he made, with Jack, with his mother, with everyone. But all the offenses hadn't been predictable, nor had been everything happening in this very moment.

Chuck did the only thing that was left to do: he leaned in and kissed the woman he wanted to be with, forever. It was like a firework erupting in the area in between his heart, stomach, and throat. His love for her was hidden somewhere in there, but actually it was big enough to fill his whole body. No, the whole room. Probably even the whole universe.

Blair snuggled in his chest, breathing in his scent. God, she had missed him.

"Why don't I make you a drink?", he asked, after some time that felt like an eternity. No. He didn't want to be here anymore actually, knowing that this Humphrey girl and Nathaniel were probably doing something he didn't want to know about in Nate's room.

"No – wait. Change of plans", he said, while he poured her a martini.

"You'll have a drink while I get dressed, and then we go for a walk", Chuck proposed. He wanted everything to be perfect when he'd ask her the most important question in his life.

Blair just smiled as he handed her the glass. He took her response as a _yes._ Then he walked himself into his bedroom, no, _their_ bedroom.

It had become night already, even if it was only 8 PM, and it looked like it would start to rain soon. Blair had always loved it when rained. Chuck got dressed quickly, left his room, and took Blair's hand as if it was the most normal thing in the world. It just felt so right. They entered the elevator and kissed again.

When they had left the building, Blair and Chuck both still had big smiles on their faces. "This night is perfect", he said, while they were walking down Fifth Avenue. A few stores were still opened, you could see it on the lights. "Oh yes", Blair added, but it ended with a squeal. It had been starting to rain lightly. "Goodness! We're getting wet, come, let's stand underneath here", she proposed, just wanting to look perfect for Chuck. He didn't care, only being by her side was the best thing he could wish for, but he gave in then. Blair walked them quickly to one of the Fifth-Ave-typical blinds in front of a lighted building. Then she realised it was an animal shop they were standing in front of.

Chuck was still breathing heavily from the hurry as the door of the store suddenly opened, and a scared looking, light red brown cat escaped and quickly made its way in one of the side streets.

"Oh, no! Chuck! Look, the cat flew from the store! It's gonna get lost! I – I..., cat!" With these words Blair followed the cat into the empty, lonely and dark side street. Chuck sighed, knowing her love for animals. He heard her heels tack to the pavement and went after her. It literally rained cats and dogs now, he thought, smiling about his thought.

"Chuck! Come here and help me find the cat! It's probably freezing out here, I just can't see it! Here's so many waste... and boxes and anything...", Blair called.

When Chuck arrived in the side street, a déjà-vu overcame him. Blair had made him watch _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ so many times, and she had cried over the ending scene so many times, so he just couldn't forget that one. And there he was now, both of them in a trench coat, in the rain, with Blair calling for a cat in an empty street and him waiting on the corner. Blair had always been a helpless romantic, and suddenly Chuck knew exactly what he had to do.

"Cat! Cat!", Blair screamed. She was completely unaware that Chuck had come after her from the blind and was also waiting on the street now. Then she heard a movement behind a large trash bag. She removed it and lifted the shivering cat into her arms. "Shhh, it's gonna be ok", she cooed at the cat. She was going to bring it back to the shop it had escaped from, and make sure it was examined right after the shocking and cold experience. It had probably just been scared by a dog in there or something. Or maybe Blair would just keep it herself. It looked so cute and helpless, and actually she'd wanted a cat since she had first watched _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. Blair went along the street slowly, carrying the cat.

And there he was. _Chuck. _She stopped when she was about two feet away from him. Both of them were dripping wet and cold now. And she didn't know what to say. But Chuck did.

'_There you are', _she wanted to whisper then, but before she could say anything, Chuck finally dropped it.

"Marry me, Blair."

She didn't say a word. There was nothing left to say. They could talk afterwards. Or maybe they wouldn't. It didn't matter anymore. Audrey also wouldn't have said anything, Blair was sure about that.

And then they stood there, kissing in the rain in a lonely street in New York City, just like Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard did almost 50 years ago, with a cat in her arms, opposite the love of her life.

Blair had started crying while they kissed, but he didn't notice due to the rain. Chuck had started shivering, but she didn't notice, due to the firework that took place in her body.

And then, Blair thought that maybe she had been right all along. Maybe she was right that she knew all the time that her life had always been a movie. A real movie, just like she imagined it. And the happy ending had just happened.

** [A/N: **Next chapter up! As promised, muuuucho Chair-action and fluff in that one. I tried to keep the original quotes

from 3x22 when they got back together. I hope you liked the proposal, I just always imagined Chuck proposing

in an Audrey-Hepburn kind of way. And when I re-watched _Breakfast _two days ago, I HAD to write it like that.

Also, **Juicyxoxocharm16**,** Happy Endings Addict **and **nicensweet28** for the great support! xoxo**]**


	4. Lights Out

**If There Ever Was A Doubt**

a Gossip Girl Fanfic

**Chapter 4 – Tell Me A Lie**

Jenny leaned back, breathing heavily. She and Nate had been kissing for twenty minutes now, and she doubted anything in her life has felt as good as this before. Each time Nate's lips touched her skin, all the blurry memories of Damien were washed out of her brain. She had been drunk most times she and Damien had done anything. It just hadn't been real. With Nate, she didn't need alcohol. She didn't need drugs. She didn't even need food or drink, or air. He was the only thing keeping her alive.

The moment he had said "you're the one", Jenny had felt just like Carrie with Mr. Big in the last episode of _Sex and the City_ in Paris. Nate was her own, personal _Mr. Big_. For now, and forever. That's what it felt like, at last.

Jenny had unbuttoned Nate's shirt, and he had removed her jacket so far.

She'd suspected she wouldn't have her first time soon, since that whole Damien-desaster had taken place. She was ashamed of being abandoned, and Damien was just such an asshole. He didn't even care she was a virgin. _Damn_, but she'd told Serena that she and Damien _did_ have sex. Damn. And Serena probably told Nate, and he probably thought... _no. _Jenny had to declare this. She wouldn't do this mistake again, and Nate would understand. He was _Nate_, after all. He always understood.

Plus, he'd indirectly just told her that he loved her. _Loved_ her. Damien never said such a thing, not in the slightest. Actually no guy, except for Dan and her dad, had told Jenny 'I love you' before. Nate didn't say it like this. But he said he always hurts the people he loves the most, and that he was sorry for hurting _her_. And that was enough for now.

Nate had apologized to her all the way. Jenny didn't. But then she realised, that it was probably _her_ turn now. She had been the one trying to disturb Nate's relationship with Serena. She had been the one trying to humiliate every female Manhattan high school student. She had been the one drug dealing and running away with someone who didn't even want her. She was the one who had abandoned her family. And the people who cared for her.

Nate just wanted to lean down and kiss her again. It felt so nice to kiss Jenny. She had always tasted like bubble gum before, strawberry bubble gum to be exact. But now she tasted like scotch, which Chuck had probably given to her before, and sugar, she had surely eaten on of the cubes he kept in a mug on his desk. Nate always liked to put a sugar cube into his mouth when he was upset or nervous, and feeling it melt down slowly.

So when their lips touched again finally, Jenny pulled away slowly.

"I'm sorry, Nate. I'm so sorry. For everything I did... with Serena, it - I didn't mean to..."

"No. Jenny, just like I said. You didn't do anything wrong. Our relationship was pretty much only based on sex. She wasn't there for me, neither was I for her."

Jenny suddenly looked surprised, and glid a few inches away from him on the bed.

"No! No, that's not supposed to mean that I'll never be there for _you_, Jenny. I already told you that I would always be there for you, and I didn't lie."

"Okay. But please Nate, let me finish. I'm also sorry for everything I did with Damien... actually I have to admit that I just wanted to leave my old life behind and start all over. I wanted to do what Upper East Side Queens do, so I gave in and did things I shouldn't have. But I've never forgotten you, Nate. Everything that we had. This kiss back then, on the street... that was really amazing, you know", Jenny started smiling again, looking at her hands which were clutched to her dress in her lap. Nate slowly caressed her hair, and pulled a lost streak out of her face.

"Thanks for saving me all the time." Then Nate's tongue was suddenly in her mouth again, gliding along her lower teeth. A small moan escaped her, and then she lied back on the bed, pulling him on top of her.

At the Masquerade Ball two and a half years ago, Nate had given her her first kiss. Nate was also the first guy to hand her a present just like that. Nate was the first guy she danced with on her Cotillion that night. And Nate was the first and only one giving her support when she ran away. She was sure she owed Nate another _first_.

But with him being Nate and her Jenny, nothing could go wrong. He was the only one she ever imagined to do this with, and now she could. Here and right away.

"Nate, Damien and I didn't..."

"You didn't?", he asked, surprised. Serena had told him elsewise.

"No, never. He...he didn't really care that I was... that I was a virgin."

"That son of a bitch", Nate pressed, and they both had to laugh. He shifted them so that Jenny was on top. She started touching his chest, traced along his perfectly defined muscles, making her way down, and then slowly opened his belt and threw it across the room.

"Now what was that for?", he whispered, grinning.

"I want you."

"What? But Jenny, you don't have to..."

"No. I can't imagine anyone better than you for this, Nate. Please. Just _save _me again", she replied quietly, smiling genuinely.

That was the sign for him, then. Nate kissed her again, putting all the emotion he had that moment in this kiss, and started caressing her thigh. She moaned again, as he slowly pulled her dress up, and over her head.

Jenny was wearing a cute, black negligée. _God_, she looked hot, he thought. Blair not even close to her. Or Serena. Or anyone else.

"_You're not like those girls, Jenny"_, his voice reminded her in her head. She sighed. That was one thing she was sure of. She's made her way from the normal Brooklyn girl up to the Manhattan princess. And _Nate_ was her prince.

She'd been taken down so many times, but _nobody puts Jenny in the corner_, she quoted _Dirty Dancing _to herself. Jenny had fallen in love with that movie since Serena had told her about it, and that she's always wish for a guy who stood up for her and fight. Nate maybe never fought for Jenny, but he stood up for her. And she was sure he would do so again.

So she unbuttoned his pants and removed them, while he unclasped her bra and pulled it out from under her negligée. She looked so perfect in this moment. Nate wasn't going to screw it up with her. He'd screwed up with so many people so many times, but she wasn't the one to. Jenny was too important. When the last three pieces of clothing were removed and tossed aside, Nate started kissing her jawline, made his way from her neck to her shoulder.

"I wanna be with you, Jenny. Be with me. I promise, I'll make everything up to you", he whispered. She nodded and ran her index finger along his spine lightly. Then they both let the destiny happen.

xoxo

Chuck had carefully taken his cell out of his coat pocket and pressed the _Emergency _button he'd had installed for his driver, Arthur.

He hadn't let go of Blair. No, they were still kissing, and Blair only pulled away when she heard the brakes of the vehicle that drove up beside them. She kissed Chuck's cheek one last time, and handed him the cat.

"You, get in. I'll just have to do something", Blair said beaming, even though she was still wet to her bones. Chuck replied with an equally big smile, and pulled the shivering cat carefully beneath his coat. That last hour couldn't have been more perfect. First, he'd suddenly gotten her back just like that, and now they were kind of... _engaged. _That sounded so strange, he was Chuck Bass, after all. But it felt all right. As long as he was with Blair.

She quickly made her way into the animal shop, which was just about to close for that day. But she waved at the clerk and made clear that she wanted to entry. "Hello, miss, what can I do for you that late?", the clerk asked her. Blair just threw a $500 bill on the counter and opened the door behind her again. "I'm keeping the cat that just escaped, in case you noticed", she snapped. Ah, Bitch B was obviosly back. Then, she left the building and ran back to the limo Chuck was waiting in.

"I love you", he told her when she opened the door. "_I love you._"

It still had the same effect on her each time he said it. It felt like it was the first time he'd ever told her. And she was so surprised, that he didn't say anything else but '_marry me_' when he'd proposed, it just came so unexpected.

But Blair couldn't imagine a better proposal. She was Audrey, she was always Audrey. And that moment had definitely been Audrey, but maybe also _just _Chuck and Blair. She didn't know. But it didn't matter anymore.

Nothing mattered but Chuck. _Chuck, _ to whom she was now engaged. Maybe everything in Blair's life hadn't ended up as she'd wished for before, there wasn't any Nate and any Yale, but the way things were _now_, that's the way it was supposed to be. Blair smiled about her own luck as she sat down beside next to Chuck.

"What's so funny?", he asked. Blair leaned in, and caressed his neck with her lips. "Nothing...", she whispered. Oh. She hadn't answered. She'd never given any response to what he'd asked her.

"_I will_, Chuck Bass. Yes. I'll marry you."

_Cat _meowed as they kissed again. It looked like it was going to be a long night, full of both Chuck and Blair's favorite activity to do in a limo.

**[A/N: **Hey everyone! Thanks again for the many alerts, favorites & reviews! You all made me smile. :) I hope you liked this chapter, and I'll come up with some Derena in the next one. I just think there was something left to write after Chuck's proposal... xoxo **]**


	5. Break Your Heart

**If There Ever Was A Doubt**

**a Gossip Girl fanfic**

**Chapter 5 – Break Your Heart**

Serena all of a sudden felt just like she had years ago as she left the hospital. Her mom and Dan's dad had gone to its cafeteria with Eleanor and Cyrus. Actually she liked being with Dan. She enjoyed it very much after all, after everything that they both had been going through. Also in the last 24 hours. Serena had no idea where Nate was, or what he was doing, and she didn't care. All she cared about right now was Dan, who was walking beside her quietly, obviosly struggling to find some words, his mouth half-opened and his hair looking pretty messy. Just as messy as it had looked like two years ago on the beach. Or three years ago on Christmas eve.

She sighed. All of her lucky days, truly lucky days had been spent with Dan. Serena had come back from boarding school as a changed person, and Dan was probably the most important puzzle piece of the _new_ Serena. The Serena she would have never become if she hadn't dropped her phone that night in her drunken rush, Dan picking it up and ending up at various dates that never really were dates.

With her latest boyfriends, everything had just been so much drama. With Dan, it wasn't. Aaron had dated other people beside her – _drama_. Gabriel had taken her family's money – _drama. _With Carter, Serena had been looking for her father in the summer – _drama_. Tripp was a married man and Nate's cousin – _drama_. And Nate, well, Nate... Nate wasn't _the one_. She may have thought so one day, but he'd never been there for her when she needed him most, he'd played her and didn't support her aims. And there was _Jenny_. Jenny, who had never let go of him. So, _drama_.

Of course there had also been drama with Dan, but that was drama that had felt like drama to her. Everything that happened between their parents, that was _after_ they had gotten to know each other and built their relationship.

It just felt so nice to be with him. Dan had been the one who comforted her after her dad's departure last night, and Nate was probably right. _People never kissed just like that._ There would always be something between her and Dan, if they wanted it or not. They were connected, always.

Dan was her first love, and she'd been his.

Serena had kept _10-08-05_. And sometimes, she would read it when she felt lonely and misunderstood. No one would have to know, but when she read Dan's piece of work, she felt admired, affected and _loved_ again. It might sound crazy that Dan had loved her before they even knew each other. But maybe such a kind of love _was_ possible – if it's the true and real one.

Dan had just told her that she had the prettiest hair and smile up there. But he was with Vanessa. Why would he tell her? And she was with Nate, though

it felt so... so _over_. Maybe it was. Nate hadn't sounded very delightful when he found out about their kiss. But actually, Serena didn't care very much.

She looked down at her feet. Her red Louboutins she had bought two days ago literally shone in the darkness. The sound they caused on the ground was somewhat calming. Then, Serena looked up again. She looked at the bright lights of New York's skyscrapers, at _her _city. No, her and _Dan's_ city.

It felt so right to be there in this moment, with him, and no talking.

Suddenly, Serena tripped on the sidewalk. She exclaimed a squel as she saw that her heel broke. _Damn_. She sighed, and looked at Dan who had hurried in front of her. "You okay?", he asked, worried. Then Serena looked at him, and all of a sudden, they both burst out laughing. She bent down and took off her heels, there was no mean of wearing them any longer, but she didn't stop laughing.

Then Dan was close. So close, just as close as he had been last night – or this morning. Serena's laughing quieted and then fell silent entirely, as she focused his deep brown eyes. _God_, she thought, _maybe it truly isn't over_.

Dan had been thinking the exact thing. They broke up because of their parents, and because he'd screwed it up. But she'd screwed it up, too.

Although everything seemed so _screwed up_, they'd always be connected, Serena had said so herself.

And he looked into her ocean blue eyes that were surrounded by her perfect face, noticing that she hadn't changed at all. She looked just as equally beautiful as she had on July 4th two years ago, or Thanksgiving four years ago. It didn't matter.

Both of them weren't aware of the fact that their hands were intertwined tightly. It felt so usual and common, but they were so close to each other.

"It's always going to be there, isn't it?", Dan whispered.

"Well... I guess so," she suspected, "let's just forget about everything for a minute, ok?"

Serena couldn't even finish her quiet sentence. Dan's lips were all over hers again, just like they had so many times before, and it didn't feel different. Soft, warm and light, but also deep, desperate and passionate.

Serena grinned into the kiss, and she lowered her mouth a little onto his chin.

"Well, actually I wouldn't even mind two minutes", she laughed and he joined her. Dan's arms had already found their way around her waist whilst hers were clasped around his neck, her fingertips playing softly with his dark short curls. That was just the way it should be.

Both of them didn't notice the flash of a camera right on the opposite side of the street.

xoxo

Nate awoke, feeling his cell vibrating on his bed side table, laying right above his and Jenny's Cotillion photo. He smiled because of the memories of the past... hours replayed all over again in his head. He finally got to be with the girl he had always wanted – well, what was there not to be happy about? He looked over at Jenny, who was fast asleep on his side, happily hugging his favorite pillow. He reached over to grab his phone, seeing that

he had a Gossip Girl e-mail. Nate wondered why she would send a blast that late – he checked the time, and it was almost 4 AM.

Jenny shifted a little and snuggled more against him, causing Nate to smile again. He quickly typed in his password and kept the light switched off, he didn't want to wake Jenny.

**oh oh, upper east siders : does S need a memory refresh or is she fully aware of the fact that D and her are long over yet? or aren't they? looks like yesterday's pic just told us the naked, nasty truth : the _golden couple _might be broken down. and as for V : i'll confess that nobody doesn't really care about her anymore, maybe except for all of the hawt-ees she has been seen with lately, on god-knows-what-island she is. remember beginning of summer last year? yeah, it feels so nostalgic to see that nothing has changed - **

**SPOTTED : N hurrying to the _empire hotel_... alone. C and B kissing in the rain. looks like the devils could just not find other devils out there – what matches, matches. S and N arguing at the _newborn wing _in a brooklyn hospital – is there a baby in sight or were they just discussing S and D's obvious bed shot? **

**and now : S and D having a little late-night-lip-lock just as if it's two years ago, if you ask me. there might be trouble in paradise, but even if there is, some people _always _find their happy ends – and don't care if it's a manhattan millionaire or someone from, ew, brooklyn that you share it with. **

**as for me, i suppose i'll stay with the first option. but we will never know what comes around next. **

**you know you love me,**

**xoxo Gossip Girl**

Nate read the mail again. He just couldn't believe what he saw! He knew Serena had never fully gotten over Dan, and that they had shared a very intense relationship before, but Serena and himself hadn't even broken up properly! So the picture that was posted in between GG's texts really pissed Nate off. They might have had their issues earlier, but he just thought it was respectless of her just to cheat like that – if she hadn't even done it yesterday. Okay, that was stupid. Nate had slept with Jenny a few hours ago, and now he jugded Serena for kissing the guy she loved, and he was sure of it.

But however, what Serena did wasn't right and she had to know that. Nobody did this to Nate Archibald, even though he was now with the girl he loved. So he pressed the camera button on his cell and, without even thinking about it, quickly took a photo of sleeping Jenny next to him, obvious that it was his bed because of the gray sheets, and obvious what they had done because Jenny's bare shoulders were visible.

Nate remembered how he had woken up here with Jenny right next to him the same day, and how he had rejected her. Again. But at least he'd just proven that he wasn't as debased as Serena was, by fully ignoring their relationship and obviously cheating on him two nights in a row - with his former best friend. He wouldn't let this happen again. Never again. He wouldn't reject the girl of his heart again, even if they were in already in pieces. So maybe everything Serena did is the result of him never truly loving her. And maybe everything she did made him realize who he wanted to be with. But maybe it had already been there all the time, undeniable and inevitable. But Serena did, nontheless, have to suffer from her actions, and Nate was sure that he would make her.

xoxo

Serena had walked all night through New York's streets with Dan, talking, occasionally kissing, and most of the time holding hands or wrapping their arms around each other. There was so much that had been left to say back then, and the entire year since their break up in which they hadn't really talked. They didn't have to hold back their feelings anymore, now they were looking further on. When the first quiet moment in hours was there, Serena's cell suddenly vibrated, signalizing a text. She opened her phone to see a picture of a sleeping, obviously naked, young platin blonde.

"Oh my god", Serena breathed.

**what u did ive done long before. **

**-N.**

**[A/N: **Yay! I finally made it! So that was chapter numero five. Hope you guys liked it! I recently looked at my traffic and I was so amazed and honored seeing that over 2,000 people actually _read_ this! This is beyond amazing, so thanks everyone! I appreciate every review etc and I'm glad that I'm getting so much support from all of you. Now that summer's finally started, I'll probably be able to write & update more regularly, as I got some great ideas how to continue the story. It's not over yet! Have a great vacation! **xoxo****]**


	6. Something To Believe

**If There Ever Was A Doubt**

**a Gossip Girl fanfic**

**Chapter 6 – Something To Believe**

The sunlight sneaking into the bedroom of the suite 1812 of the Palace Hotel awoke Blair the next morning. They hadn't gone back to the Empire after their little encounter in the limo, no, Blair thought they wouldn't ever go back there again. Too many bad memories had taken place there, but now it was all in the past – they were _engaged_, for god's sake – but Blair couldn't feel any happier. She shifted under the comfy sheets, without letting go of Chuck's hand, which was tightly clasped around her wrist.

He was still sleeping soundly, and she smiled in awe as she watched him. If somebody would have told her what happened the day after 48 hours ago, Blair possibly hadn't believed them. But though, that's the way it's supposed to be. It always was. Blair and Chuck. Chuck and Blair. _Inevitable_. She slowly traced along Chuck's cheek with her index finger, and then onto his forehead. He looked so peaceful at sleep, and as his eyes then opened, he did even more.

"Hey", she murmured. "Sleep well?"

"Always... now", Chuck replied, covering his eyes with his hand because of the bright light in the room. He sat up against the headboard and pulled Blair into his lap, starting to caress her chestnut curls, which looked pretty messy by now.

"I love you", she said, or maybe it was him. It didn't matter anymore. It seemed like all the borders between them had disappeared the night before.

He bent down to kiss her then, and it still felt to Blair as if it was the first time he did so, the first time he did back then in the limo. Honestly, the best night of her life. Chuck's kisses were always full of passion, hungry and soft at a time. Nate's had been light and boring. Blair always craved for more while being with him, something only Chuck would ever be able to give her. Nate would never even get close to what Chuck made her feel like. When his tongue finally entered her mouth once again, Blair's phone rang. She sighed and slowly pulled away, reached over to the nightstand and stroked his face.

"What is it?", Chuck inquired, as he took the BlackBerry out of her hands and opened the message.

"Gossip Girl. S and Lonely Boy back together... ugh, sis really deserves better. Poor Nathaniel, actually being stuck on that Humphrey girl..."

"Bass!" , Blair squealed as she slapped him on his chest.

"Why don't you just shut up for once? Seriously, I think it's great. S loves that Cabbage Patch, for a reason even I don't understand, but it's better this way. Can't you just accept that for once?"

"Hey, what is going on with you now? Stop being such a bitch, Blair, I didn't even say anything!"

"What? I'm a bitch, then? Fine, you Basshole! What now?"

"Could you just stop playing your games for once, Waldorf... this is so high school, I thought this was over", Chuck snared.

"My games? My _effing _games? I wasn't the one who..." But Blair couldn't finish. She had been standing next to the bed, Chuck's half-buttoned dress shirt on, and suddenly he was all over her again. She tried to inhale some air, but his kisses wouldn't let her. When Chuck kissed her, there was nothing more in the world but Chuck kissing her. But when she finally couldn't take it anymore, she pulled away.

"I'm sorry. I don't get to judge you... ever again. I traded you for a goddamn hotel, and then blame you for some games. I'm sorry. I don't know how you even still want someone like me...", Chuck explained softly, still heavily breathing, but holding Blair's hand on his heart.

"Well, Bass, I traded you for a speech once, too, and you're the only one I would ever want", she smirked.

"A speech isn't quite a hotel."

"Touché."

"I slept with Vanessa."

"I slept with... Jack."

"Touché", Chuck said then.

"And I went up there on my own, without even telling you. But nothing happened last month, I swear! It's just - "

"Blair, this is not your fault. Nothing of it. I- I ...", then his voice faded.

"We keep having the same fight, Bass", she sighed. "Did last night even happen?", Blair asked, looking down at her ring finger. There still was her old, red ruby ring Nate had given her.

_Oh fuck _was all that came to Chuck's mind in this moment. He had done it. He had forgotten to give her the ring. Now it was time to say... something. At least something.

"Blair, if there is one thing that I don't regret in my life, then it would be last night. Our path has been complicated, you said so yourself, and I know that we keep hurting each other all the time, but if that is the price I'll have to pay to be with you, then I'll pay it. You know... I think I should have told you that I loved you a lot earlier. Maybe then, we would have had more time to be together. But actually, I don't care if _forever_ begins now, or one year ago... I just want to be with you... forever", Chuck stated while he knelt up in front of her on the bed. Blair's eyes began to tear up, and his did as well, though he might have denied it.

He began to play with Blair's signature ring on her tiny finger. "November 23rd, 2004", Chuck whispered, "Nate gave this to you. Remember?"

Blair nodded quietly in response, confused. "Well, I was with him when he picked it at Tiffany's. Or when _I _picked it, actually", he smirked in his typical _I'm-Chuck-Bass-_smirk. "He didn't even know what to give you for your birthday. I told him to buy this ring... I think I did so because it was elegant, classy and beautiful, just like you." Both of them grinned, and Blair asked "...Really?"

Chuck nodded quietly and removed the ring from her finger gently, placing it on the nightstand. He reached under her pillow and pulled out the black velvet box that had been resting in the upper pocket of his suit the day before.

"This was my mother's", he said, so quietly that it was barely audible. He opened the box and Blair looked at her engagement ring for the first time, her jaw dropping in awe of the reflection of the sun the ring caused in the room.

"Chuck, this is... this is-"

"I know. But you don't have to say anything now", he whispered as she began to trace the ring's band carefully. Chuck lifted the ring out of the fabric and held it up into the light.

"I had something engraved", he confessed. Blair grabbed his hand and turned the ring so she could see what stood on the inside. It read _three words, eight letters - i am yours. _

"Time for a new era, Waldorf?", he asked, more enthusiastic now, looking down at Blair's old ring _he _had actually given her.

She nodded again, her eyes full of tears. Their hands were tightly clasped around each other's below their chins.

"Of course, Bass", she whispered. "I just hope your wedding vow will be just like your best man's speech back then!"

"I'll improvise again, I guess... but with you by my side I can manage anything", Chuck remarked. "But Nate's best man's speech hopefully won't beat mine", he grinned.

"You're invincible, Chuck, and you know it. But look at us, Bass. We're a mess right now. So why would you do all this?", Blair inquired, still full of awe.

"Because I love you."

"Not enough!"

"God, Blair, you shouldn't spend so much time around Cyrus, that really rubbed off on you", Chuck laughed.

"Funny, Bass", Blair snapped. "...so?"

"Okay. Fine. Because... the worst thing you've ever done. The... darkest thought you've ever had, I – I will stand by you through anything."

Chuck couldn't hold back his tears anymore as well in this moment.

"And why would you do that?", she whispered, recognizing her own words.

"Because I love you", Chuck repeated. Then he slid the ring onto her finger and pressed his lips against her, carefully, as if he could break her with the next movement he made. He actually doubted he could make it through losing her once again. The next time, he would die. No matter how, wanted or not. And he did not want to let her go through this pain alone. He would surely die one day, but it would be in her arms. Nowhere else in the world.

Blair deepened the kiss, but then eventually pulled away, beaming.

"Well that's too bad... because I love you more."

"Liar."

"Nope, Bass."

"Come on, let's get out of here, _Bass_."

"W-what?", she asked, stunned.

"What is it? You agreed to marry me. Three times already, if my count is correct. I'm Chuck Bass. and- " - "I guess you made sure Manhattan knows by now", she giggled. "Yes, of course", he smirked. "I'm Chuck Bass, and that makes _you _Mrs Bass now."

"Wow... I kinda like the sound of that... Mrs, wait what was it again?", she teased him. Chuck began tickling her, and they ended up falling off of the bed in laughter.

"So, why do you want to get out of here?", Blair asked.

"I don't know, but I do know that I am going to sell the Empire. It's not worth it." "Really?", Blair beamed. "Yes. And here, 1812, all my filthy youth is stuck in here. Remember?"

"Oh of course", she giggled. "So?"

"Let's just... start all over. I'll buy us a new penthouse, you choose, my treat. Okay?"

"How do I even deserve you, Bass?"

"I could ask you the same thing, I mean, all these years you were with Nate, I realized that there was nothing I could do. I'm Chuck Bass. I don't deserve anyone. But I've always loved you, Blair. I just thought I could love you better just for myself. I never wanted to rip you guys apart, I've done such things more than enough, I - "

"Chuck, there is nothing better than you could have done. Well, maybe except for buying your limo, and Victrola, of course."

"My, I think you still owe me a performance..."

"Bass!", she squealed and slapped him on his chest again, as they lay there on top of each other on the floor, half dressed and with the sheets all over them.

"Well, I'll see what I can do", Blair said after a few moments of silence, which was then filled by laughter again.

"Oh, and I forgot that ring. Although you didn't buy it yourself. But thanks, for, you know. Just thank you. You don't even know how much that means to me."

"You asked me to say those three words, and eight letters. And then you would be mine. But I was already yours, you know. So, that makes _three words, eight letters – i am yours_. So that you'll always have them with you."

"Awww."

"I love you."

"Can you - can you say it twice?"

"Blair..."

"Bass?"

"Fine, Bass", Chuck said.

Blair giggled.

"Huh?", she inquired.

"I love you."

**[A/N: **Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay, but I was busy travelling to London and Paris, and I just didn't feel really inspired these past two weeks. 1 month left to Season 4! Yay! Excited! I really hope you guys liked this chapter. More Derena and Nenny in the next one. But, with Chuck and Blair really being my favorite couple, I enjoyed writing this. I appreciate your reviews & support, and, also : I haven't written Chapter 7 yet! So, any suggestions about who finds out about C&B's engagement first, and how? Any ideas? Thanks again! **xoxo ]**


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